It’s another loss for all of us.  For my kids, for Chris, for me, even for her kids.  In that sense, we’ll be grieving for a while.  We’ve discussed trying to salvage the shards that remain after the structure crumbled, but when it’s not right for the kids, we just have to let it go.

This is another lesson for me in learning to let go.  One of many over the last 3 and a half years.  I’m getting it.

(photo courtesy of Northern Miniatures on Flickr)

Ian’s 6th Birthday

Originally uploaded by Jason Dufair.

My little rockstar turned 6 this week. He’s so exuberant and wonderful and beautiful. He’s all about his friends. He has a true heart of gold. Happy birthday my sweet Ian-bird.

Guitar courtesy of Christine. He is nuts about it! I’m thrilled it stays in tune, unlike his last one.

…also, watch this space. big announcement coming soon

We got to go roller skating with our next president last night - Barack Obama. Pretty cool. He came by our skating rink and hung out with us for a couple hours - took a lap around the rink with his kids (he walked). I got him to sign my copy of his book (”The Audacity of Hope”) and was able to get some pics of him with my kids. Alyssa and her friend got autographs too. It was a bit of a media frenzy, but definitely a good time. The local news interviewed us afterward and played a clip with me in it - about 40 seconds into the video on the right (click to start the video - sorry for the commercial). Christine is on my right and Emma is in my arms. A number of my friends were there and we all enjoyed ourselves.

Alyssa and I were also out knocking on doors for Senator Obama yesterday. It was a cool experience. Met at headquarters, got an inspirational speech from Illinois’ senior Senator Dick Durbin, took a packet of names and addresses, and went out to rock the vote in south Lafayette. It was pretty fun and pretty damn cold! Alyssa forgot her jacket, so she wore mine. We talked to a few folks, mostly supporters. Most weren’t home. A couple were even Republicans! I was glad Alyssa got to experience democracy first hand.

Now all you Hoosiers, get out and vote for Barack Obama. He’s one of the few that has opposed this wasteful war from the beginning. I do like a lot of things about Hilary, but the whole “Oops, I voted for the war. Sorry!” spiel doesn’t work for me.

I’ll post some more photos from campaigning and skating soon.

(oh, I’m on skates - I’m not actually that much taller than Chris)

Pick One

Originally uploaded by Jason Dufair.

Guess they’re not exactly losing their religion. They’re probably too busy exhuming McCarthy.

Almost a year later, my custom “Hotaru” plate came in (yep, that’s the bureaucracy of the Indiana BMV for ya). Thanks to Bine for the name! Of course, one of my co-workers came in this morning and said “Hot are you?” She thought perhaps it was a gift.  Oh well. Maybe I’ll get a bumper sticker that says “It means firefly” or something.

I’ve put up a front long enough, writing carefully crafted posts and comments on your blogs making you think I care about you and that I’m a sensitive person with a need and skill for human connection.  Wrong.  So please go sign up at Arsebook and accept my enemy requests so I can gossip about, slander, libel, and insult you like I’ve wanted to do all along.

Thanks, jerks.

I love Wal-Mart. Yep, I said it. I love going there. There are few other places for better people-watching. Few other places where so many different species of us come together in one place.

Today’s trip to Wal-Mart was downright transcendental. I saw the van above in the parking lot on the way in to pick up some groceries and storage bins to finally pack up some of Anna’s clothes in my room and put them in storage. There was writing on the window, faded but still legible in grease marker (the same ones that normally say “Go Brandi! Take State This Year!” or “#43 Jake - Go Spartans”). This one just says “I Love Every One”. I saw the people get out and go into the store. I was jamming to some Billie Holiday on my portable and am not super-extroverted, so I had neither the courage nor the right rhythm today, but I wanted to look at them and say “Me too!” I did say “I like your slogan” when I saw them on the way out.

I spent the entire visit trying to make eye contact with every single stranger there. Man, woman, child. I mean, eyes are such a gift, aren’t they? When you look someone right in the eyes, you realize their eyeballs are never fat, old, droopy, the wrong color, too big, too small. I’m talking about just the eyeballs themselves. Eyeballs are basically like exposed parts of your brain sticking out of holes in your skull. So I looked at every stranger’s eyes. I made it a point not to avert my gaze. Saw myself. Few people made contact, but the ones that did were a delicious moment. Especially when it lingered just that tad bit long. A smile or two. It’s easy, at least in the right mood, to recognize the beauty in every person of every size and color and age, isn’t it? Especially when the universe reminds you, via grease marker on an aging Pontiac mini-van that you love every one.

Apologies to The Fray…

Verse 1:
Step one your brother buys a Vette
He always wanted to buy a new Corvette
You press the clutch, the throaty roar
You let it out and off you go
You reach the stoplight, signal right
You grip the wheel and gun it right
The tail kicks out, you point and aim
Four hundred horses are why you came

Chorus:
And now we hit the on-ramp, thirty five
Then hit the gun, point nine one gs
And I could have stayed up at the red line
In sixth gear, saving a mid-life

(Given the fact that it’s 12:27am, I’ll leave the rest of the verses as an exercise for the reader)