Una Mariposa Bonita
I had my eye on her profile for some time this summer. We were going to get together earlier in the summer, but she ended up having to cancel at the last minute and I wasn’t in the right place, emotionally, to reschedule with her. She re-contacted me when we were in South Carolina in July and I decided to go for it.
Our first date was at a local Italian restaurant - we’re both pretty outdoors-oriented and they have great outdoor seating. The weather was perfect and after the initial nerves wore off, we found ourselves really enjoying one another. Lots of comfortable conversation. Get-to-know-you chit-chat. She works in a garden center about about 30 minutes away (in the same town she lives in) and is very much a naturalist. Knows a ton about plants, flowers, flora, fauna, etc. She has a 15 year old son who is a soccer star - lives, breathes, sleeps soccer. He lives with his dad. She also has a 14 year old son who lives with her. He has fragile X syndrome. I’ve gotten to meet him once now and he’s a very sweet boy. She went to Earlham College, a liberal arts college here in Indiana. Got her degree in education. She’s smart, funny, super cute, and very interesting. When dinner was over, we couldn’t call it quits. We walked down by the river, got rained on, went to the Irish pub for a bit, walked around some more. The nice thing about a first date is that there’s no pressure, just companionship. She gave me a killer hug goodbye and we said goodnight.
For our second date, she suggested we go combing the countryside for milkweed so we could find some monarch caterpillars to take home and show my kids as they metamorphose into butterflies. How romantic is that? Sure beats the heck out of dinner and a movie. We did find a few caterpillars, but they were too small. (She brought me three of them a week or so later, though, that she found while at a garage sale). We did have dinner and then ended up on the walking bridge over the river, me playing guitar, us reading poetry, just enjoying a wonderful evening (complete with a visit from a lady pushing her cat in a stroller). Lots of sweet kisses later, and the bell tolled for me to get back to my babysitter.
She’s very earthy; she doesn’t wear makeup - she’s naturally beautiful. Her style is so cool. The way she dresses and the way she decorates her house and the music she likes and the food she likes are all so sympatico with me. To steal a term from my good friend Jessica (who she stole from her friend Tom), she’s a member of my tribe. We just really enjoy one another’s company. It’s easy.
So we’re moving forward, trying to find as much time together as possible. I kinda freaked about 10 days into things, my own insecurities and such rearing their ugly heads, but she hung out, gave me some space and I realized she’s a great woman, kind and generous, and I should give things a try. Glad I did. She’s turning out to exceed my expectations regularly with her heart and her creativity. I’m looking forward to developing a strong relationship with her.
I’m also making up for a pretty big sleep deficit, kicking my own ass to go to bed by 10pm or so, and trying to learn to meditate so I can reduce my stress and anxiety from raising my three kids and getting behinder and behinder. All three kids are in three new schools (Alyssa in middle school, Ian in Kindergarten, and Emma at Montessori); it’s hopping at the Dufair household. Also, work has been fairly busy. So if you don’t see me here or commenting on your blog, I apologize. I’ve done a lot of grief work here and I don’t expect to do a lot more of that as I move into a new phase in my life. So I’m not sure what I’ll write, but I suspect more will come and when it does, I’ll post. I do have a new poem I need to get up. Soon.
