A Few Good Memes

Update 2: Missy has found a good lawyer. Someone who has experience with domestic violence cases. She’s very happy with him. He’s going to fight hard for her. Retainer: $3500. She has someone who has made up the difference so she’ll have the whole retainer. If you haven’t sent anything but still want to, you should. She’s still has no access to any money and could use all the help she can get.

Update: I am aware of $605 that has been sent to St. Anne’s thus far. Thanks to everyone who is helping. Missy is doing pretty well, for being in the eye of a hurricane. She’s meeting with a new lawyer this week and will hopefully have proceedings underway soon.

Some people have expressed concern that $1700 is a lot to pay for a lawyer for a divorce. I know nothing of divorces and lawyers, so I only hope she gets a bulldog that gets her far more than half. She deserves it.

Missy has created a new blog that tells her story about the cycle of abuse in her family. It’s been an unbelievably difficult journey for her and she’s endured a tragic amount of abuse. Please go read it. She’s making a lot of the right choices and is running into a lot of roadblocks. There are also more updates at MadPriest’s blog.

She’s going to need some financial help as her husband completely controls the finances, so I’m officially passing the virtual hat now. The lawyer she’s used in the past would not take her case, but she’s looking for a new one. The previous lawyer required about $1700 for a retainer. If you are able and willing to help, you can send money to

Judy Henley
St. Anne Church
825 S. Ortonville Rd
Ortonville, MI 48462

Checks should be made payable to St. Anne’s Care & Share Fund with Missy McKerroll’s name in the memo field, and/or a cover letter expressing that is what the donation is for. Doing it this way actually allows you to take a deduction on your taxes too.

Please email me at jase@dufair.org and I’ll keep track of donation amounts in order to ensure she gets at least that amount. I’ll post a running total here.

My good friend (and angel here on earth) Missy has been struggling for a long time under the thumb of an abusive, alcoholic husband. She’s getting herself and her 5 kids to safety today, going to a shelter. I’m so proud of her for taking this difficult and courageous step. More info at MadPriest’s blog. Pray for her. Think of her. There may end up being a hat passed too. PLEASE don’t post to her blog about this right now.

Emma Butterfly

Originally uploaded by Jason Dufair.

Butterflies end up figuring very prominently in my life right now. Emma decided to put on her butterfly wings this evening when I came home from work and was fluttering around the house, looking cute in her butterfly wings and ladybug dress. More pics of her on my Flickr site. Click the pic to go there.

I love Wal-Mart. Yep, I said it. I love going there. There are few other places for better people-watching. Few other places where so many different species of us come together in one place.

Today’s trip to Wal-Mart was downright transcendental. I saw the van above in the parking lot on the way in to pick up some groceries and storage bins to finally pack up some of Anna’s clothes in my room and put them in storage. There was writing on the window, faded but still legible in grease marker (the same ones that normally say “Go Brandi! Take State This Year!” or “#43 Jake - Go Spartans”). This one just says “I Love Every One”. I saw the people get out and go into the store. I was jamming to some Billie Holiday on my portable and am not super-extroverted, so I had neither the courage nor the right rhythm today, but I wanted to look at them and say “Me too!” I did say “I like your slogan” when I saw them on the way out.

I spent the entire visit trying to make eye contact with every single stranger there. Man, woman, child. I mean, eyes are such a gift, aren’t they? When you look someone right in the eyes, you realize their eyeballs are never fat, old, droopy, the wrong color, too big, too small. I’m talking about just the eyeballs themselves. Eyeballs are basically like exposed parts of your brain sticking out of holes in your skull. So I looked at every stranger’s eyes. I made it a point not to avert my gaze. Saw myself. Few people made contact, but the ones that did were a delicious moment. Especially when it lingered just that tad bit long. A smile or two. It’s easy, at least in the right mood, to recognize the beauty in every person of every size and color and age, isn’t it? Especially when the universe reminds you, via grease marker on an aging Pontiac mini-van that you love every one.

flotsam of metamorphasis

Originally uploaded by sweet | salty.

The caption on this photo by Sweet Salty Kate broke my heart. I want to love like Justin and be loved like Kate. Those two are love rockstars. And there’s nothing sweeter or sexier than a good sense of humor.