I’m sick. Had a 102.7 feber (Emma’s word). Aches, chills, sore throat. Sucks to be sick as a single parent. Thankfully one of my two babysitters totally picked up the slack tonight. I have two awesome babysitters. This is something I am constantly grateful for.
Had some great fever dreams. More like fever introspection. There’s a lot of shit I just couldn’t or wouldn’t blog about. But I was deep down in that shit, working it out tonight. Another case of a few hours of introspection while I’m sick. I should start an anonymous blog and get a few of my demons out.
The kids get really anxious when I’m sick. They are worried that I’m going to leave them too. It’s all over their body language and their general anxiety. I’ve reassured them I’m just regular sick, not sick like mommy was. As my fever started breaking tonight, Ian had me check it every 5 minutes or so to make sure I was ok. I think my reassurances helped some.
After digging up some old bad choices and some old bad times tonight, I’m even more grateful that I have my kids and that I’m raising them in a way that they won’t likely have as many demons as I do.
(and I think it’s time for a theme change)
Another fun Emma-ism: When she’s exerting her independence: “My do it!”
venessa
| 02-Mar-07 at 9:42 am | Permalink
My Emma says that too! ALL THE TIME. Except she talks in the third person. Emma do it!
Fevers are the absolute worst symptom, IMO. And the poor kiddos! It never occured to me that they would be so upset when you get ill, but now that you write about it, how could they not? Get better soon!
thordora
| 02-Mar-07 at 10:00 am | Permalink
ugh…febers….hate those.
Being sick around kids sucks PERIOD. I always worried about my Dad-I was convinced he would die on me too.
karrie
| 02-Mar-07 at 1:55 pm | Permalink
The anti-spam math got me, so I apologize if you get 13 comments from me, but I love your new theme!
jase
| 02-Mar-07 at 1:58 pm | Permalink
I’m pretty well enjoying it too. I’m going to use my sickie pie time to figure out how to get it to show my Rhapsody album covers like it used to.
Peggy
| 02-Mar-07 at 2:39 pm | Permalink
Wow (looking around) schmancey new digs. Sorry you’re not feeling well. Something’s going around here, too. I woke up with a fire in my throat–and, ugh, so did my son! I can still function. At least I don’t have to sing.
Your kids’ concern is touching and sort of heartbreaking. What a difficult year for all of you–everything is a first.
You know, I think you’re about as self aware as a person can be. Feel better.
Amy
| 02-Mar-07 at 6:02 pm | Permalink
I love the new layout, and I see you got that rhapsody thing working again
I hope your feber doesn’t last too long, they really suck 
Have a good weekend xx
jase
| 02-Mar-07 at 6:50 pm | Permalink
Feber is gone. Sore throat and earache is still here but diminishing. There’s light at the end of the tunnel.
kassie
| 03-Mar-07 at 1:57 pm | Permalink
Awww.. I hope you feel better soon for both you and the kids. In time their fears will lessen. You are such a great dad. I know its tough being single and sick with kids. Just remember, things dont always have to be perfect. Cereal is okay for supper sometimes, and if the house is a mess oh well.. just get better.
My kiddo H worries about me alot. I think it has to do with stuff with her bio dad. She always has to call me if its bad weather and tell me not to drive, and that she loves me etc. If we have a bad fight on the way to school she will end with an I love you even if shes really steaming mad. When she was little she would get in my bed and argue with me that she was going to sleep on the side by the door just in case someone came to get us. It broke my heart.
I finally came right out and told her, no matter what if I died tomorrow I would know how much you love me and how much I love you, regardless of any fights and it would be okay.
I had to tell her that because when my dad passed away, he had yelled at me ( which was abnormal ) the day before, probably because he didnt feel good. I grew up thinking he didnt know I loved him and I didnt know he loved me. I now know different and I wanted to put her mind at ease. I want her to just be a kid and not worry all the time. Its getting better it just takes time.
Sorry I burped all over your blog. I too love the new look.
jase
| 03-Mar-07 at 10:49 pm | Permalink
Kassie - please don’t apologize. I appreciate the story. I don’t know what Anna’s last words were to any of us. It happened so fast. Even though she was sick for 17 months, none of us thought she was going to die that Friday night in July. But Anna told us all she loved us frequently. And that will resonate forever. I’m sure thankful for that.