A Few Good Memes

I’m working on setting up backups for Poppy, my laptop (my computers are all named after past or current cats), so I wasn’t going to write tonight, but this thought occurred to me today and I wanted to get it out.

Anna’s last day was spent in bed. she was in pretty serious abdominal pain from the new tumors in her abdomen. By mid-afternoon, things seemed pretty serious. I had no idea it would be her last day, but I knew she needed help as her pain was pretty intense and her extremities were starting to look kind of yellow. I had spent most of the day packing as we were supposed to be making the 2 day drive home the next morning. Reggie (Anna’s brother) and I both concurred that we needed to get Anna to a doctor to get her in better shape for the drive home.

So he pulled his van around and I helped Anna to the van. She was in so much pain, she didn’t think she could walk out to the van. I said she had to do it and told her I’d help her out. So she put her arms around my neck and walked one small step at a time out of the bedroom, across the living room, out on the porch, down the three steps and over to the van. I walked backward, supporting most of her body weight. She sat down in the passenger seat and was reasonably comfortable. She closed her eyes and rested, I sat behind Reggie in silent fear, trying to stifle my cries so I wouldn’t disturb her.

The thought that occurred to me today was that Anna took her last steps in my arms. what a blessing and a gift to me. God damn I loved her.