Coming home caught me off guard tonight. Had a good drive home - everyone was pretty well behaved. Potty breaks were synchronized properly. electronics all worked pretty well. Alyssa and I enjoyed listening to “Hoot” on CD. Got home and not having Anna to go thru the “Get Home, Get Unpacked, Start Laundry, Unload Digicam” dance sucked really hard. There’s always a normal letdown coming home from a fun trip (which this one to Virginia’s certainly was), but at least we had one another to lean on and to look forward to cuddling with when the unpacking was finished. Now I’m halfway done unpacking with the kids down and just feel like crap. Lonely. Grief is pretty oblique, Just when you’re doing ok, something comes out of nowhere - WHAM - to remind you how much you miss her and how much she suffered and how powerless you were and still are.
Strangely, the only antidote I’ve found thus far for grief is listening to Umphrey’s McGee. Those guys have some sort of direct link to my dopamine receptors or something. Just discovered their anti-grief powers a few days ago. Convenient for me that their latest CD is about loss and struggle. Though all their music seems to help regardless.
thordora
| 28-Nov-06 at 12:36 pm | Permalink
It will get better jason. of course, I say that with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat remembering when my life felt so bloody similar, but not. But it will. You won’t forget her. But life moves on.
Hug your babies. They’rthe best ones to help soothe you.